Everything written here is entirely melody's thoughts and are not used as a weapon to break other people's hearts with words. I just enjoy being able to express my thoughts and feelings. Please do not take any of the words written here as critisizm towards anyone. Thank you, and enjoy reading!

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OH THE WOE OF BIO TEST. Again. :/

But yeah. This is life in SNGS lah. Four whole Biology chapters tested in one Biology test. And the ONLY set of marks recorded in PPR for Term Three. Imagine the stress, please.

And I dont know if this is freaking out or not. Cause I kind of understand the whole thing but then I cant really absorb all the important stuff. Okay I can absorb almost everything. I almost freaked out. Which is kind of abnormal for a person like me who is usually very confident of her Science marks. :/

God, help me to overcome my fear! And help me not to freak out and forget everything in a split second before the test tomorrow! Amen!

And to make things even worse, (or is it like maybe a blessing in disguise?) I was listening to my mp3 and got all the emo-ish songs all at once! Then I understood the whole meaning behind each of the songs. Which made me kind of emo for a while. :/

So the reason why I'm here now is cause I cant absorb any further. My mind's currently full. Maybe a good night's sleep and revising again in the morning will help.

JIAYOU PEOPLE. Bio's difficult and requires alot of memory work but it's fun lah. XD

This is my collection of emo-ish songs. XD Enjoy, thank you!



P.S. Oh yeah, anyone interested to go St. Gabriel's Symphonic Band concert with me? $12 per ticket, 15 August 2007. XD Please?

&enjoyment.

It's currently POURING. And I'm slacking.

OH MAN. I just saw a bolt of lightning. Like 'Flash flash' and straight away 'BOOM'. It must be like within one kilometre of my house. Scary.

I'm supposed to be either studying Bio or doing overdue AMaths homework. And it turns out, I'm doing neither.

Rather, I'm on the laptop watchin youtube. XD

Oh what a slacker I am.

&enjoyment.

These are just my reflections of the past week. It has been a week of many tests, much thinking and nice results. XD

Well, firstly, I've been spending my recesses with Nat Phoon. And yeah, she's actually quite nice. And her thinking is pretty mature too. Even though there's like all these rumours being spread about her, but I'm kind of still getting to know her better, so I'm on neither side of the rumours.

So on Wednesday (or is it Tuesday), she told me during recess that her table partner (I shall not mention who) - one of the more popular people in 3W - told her that some of the popular people had seen Nat Phoon going recess with me. Which I think is not much of a big deal.

I mean, it's like why are they observing us so much? Scrutinising us? The discriminated people? From my used-to-it point of view, they're just waiting for some juicy thing that they can gossip about and spread more OH-SO-JUICY rumours. Which is like, whatever, fine.

I'm used to this kind of thing already, what with all the stuff since Sec One? I've learnt how to keep out of the lives of the popular people and just live my own life. With my own friends.

And I dont make friends or break friendships just because of rumours or discrimination against them. Rather, I would make friends with them cause I'm one of the discriminated too. And they're easier to talk to lah. You can just be yourself around them.

And I dont like people who break friendships with me cause they allegedly worry about their uprising popularity.

I have never liked popular people, and I dont really care about them. But you have to be alert about these people, and avoid them as much as you can. It's not that I'm cowardly, but rather I'm keeping myself out of more trouble.

Discrimination's horrible, but maybe for those people who spread those rumours, it's a kind of fun for them. SADISTIC.

Whatever. We're all living in the same cruel world. What we make of it, however, is a whole different story.

I chose to live my life as a optimistic, happy kid. And I'm living my life to the fullest right now.

Next thing. I was kind of curious, and went to google myself. Yes, I really went to google myself. And I found that my two previous blogs are like on the first two pages of the search results.

And the most startling thing - which I wasnt really startled by, and kind of expected - was the blogpost where I took some quiz. On both blogs.

So yes, I was thinking, why do people like to read so much about the dumb quizzes I take? And then spread even more rumours and gossip about me?

If you're taking so much interest in my private life, then okay, go ahead and ask me for my autograph. I DARE YOU.

So okay, another FINE to another thing.

Last thing. My results are slowly slowly going up! It really helps to listen in class and actually study and read up. But the thing is, if I listen, I dont really study for the test.

Okay I know people will want to chop off my head if I say this. But if you understand, what's there to study?!

And oh yes. I understand mole concept. Anyone feel like killing me now?

I'm always a phone call away if you want tuition. Or revision for that matter. I'm happy to help whenever I'm free. XD

However, this only applies to people whom I'm close to. XD

&enjoyment.

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from Heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God
----
We want to run to the altar
And catch the fire
To stand in the gap
Between the living and the dead

Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope to our land
----
Inspirational songs. Very very very inspirational.

&enjoyment.

别说对不起 - S.H.E. (Encore)

望远镜 看不见你
你的心 飞去哪里
雾上飞行 想像黑夜的经历

别说对不起
别让我伤了心才说不是故意
我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变成廉价物品
我却只能爱你

闭上眼睛 却看见你
想你的好 代替无力
我相信你 却开始不信任自己

别说对不起
别让我灰了心才说不是故意
我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变的小心翼翼
我却只能爱你

用行动来证明 你的决心
不要说说而已 我想要的不只是sorry

雾上飞行 想像黑夜的经历
别说对不起
别让我伤了心才说不是故意
我却无法怪你
别说对不起
别让我的爱情变成廉价物品
我却只能爱你
----
This is my current favourite song. I'm currently going absolutely nuts over it.

Listen to it! It has so much musical value in it. To me, at least. I just have that soft spot for songs with nice melodies and gorgeous chordings. And their voices blend so nicely together!

Of course, I wont forget and leave my other favourite songs rotting. I still love them. XD

&enjoyment.

I’m giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I’m giving you my dreams, I’m laying down my rights
I’m giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I’m singing You this song, I’m waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain
----
If any of you find this song familiar from my previous blogs, it is from there. I was deeply touched by God again today during worship by this song. I think it's my favourite song now. XD

The lyrics of this song give so so much meaning to me. Whenever I sing this song, I'll always feel like crying and letting everything out. It's just so meaningful to me.

I'm a girl that kind of lives on her dreams and aspirations. I'm that kind of person who dreams absurd dreams and actually believes they will come true. If you wanted me to just give up all my dreams and my pride and whatever that I have had for the past fourteen-coming-fifteen years of my life, it's almost impossible for me.

But this song tells me that God wants me to do this. He wants me to give everything I love and hope for up, to trust and put my faith in Him. God touched me with this song today once again, and reminded me that no matter what, He will always be there for me. And He will carry me through it all.

And this came at such a good time too. I've been laden down with so many burdens. I've not been laughing to my heart's content for very long. I've almost grown tired of life. God's telling me to cast all my burdens and problems on Him.

It's difficult, I know. But I believe, and I will pray, that God will help me to trust in Him wholeheartedly and surrender all to Him.

Uncle Daniel also sang this other song that was about standing in the gap and praying for our land. I was already on the brink of tears due to the previous song (see above), then this song made me burst out in tears. Silent tears. Cause this song just touched me all of a sudden.

I want to stand in the gap between God and our land. I want to intercede for all that have not been saved. I want to pray for my friends and classmates who have either backslided or have not yet felt the Glory of God.
----
Dear Father Lord,

Thank You for giving me such a great environment to live in, and giving me such good friends that I can mix around with and be myself.

I pray that You will help me to be able to spread the gospel to my friends, especially Zhuwei, Jolyn Teo and many more, that they will experience Your goodness, and will come to know You. I pray that You will give me the spiritual boldness to tell them about You, and that You will give me the perseverance to reach out to them.

I also pray that You will help me bring those friends that have backslided away from You, back to You. I pray for Mandy, that You will bring her back to church and let her encounter You. I pray that You will give me the compassion to keep calling them and inviting them back to church.

I pray that You will bless all of my friends, all those who know me, that they will all do well in their studies and be able to fulfil what You have set in place for them.

I pray that You will help me to surrender my life to You. I pray that You will help me to give up my dreams, lay down my rights, give up my pride, so that I will be able to serve You.

I pray that You will teach me not to be fearful of the future, not to be fearful of what would happen to my life if I lay everything down before You. I pray that You will help me to understand that whatever You have planned for my life, is beneficial to me, and will not harm me.

In Jesus' Holy Name I pray,
Amen.
----
Oh yeah, people. I have gotten a song into my blog!

It's my current favourite S.H.E. song - Bie Shuo Dui Bu Qi. From their album, Encore. It's old, fine. But then I do have this knack for liking older songs. XD

Credits to princesstriangel.imeem.com for uploading the song! XD

&enjoyment.

Okay. This is my favourite song, and has been, and will be my favourite song, for a long long time. And my latest msn nickname is also inspired by this song. XD

It's a really old song, when Sweety were only fourteen or fifteen, and they werent famous and popular yet. But the melody of the song and the singing just touched me really deeply. So here it is...
----
WHEN I HAVE A DREAM (Sweety)

踩着一片一片心碎
练习一步一步后退
爱情像不适合的鞋
痛得让人失去知觉

转身飞出你的世界
我往哪里坠

when i have a dream
只准微笑不准流泪
离幸福更近一些
and when i lost my dream
只准微笑不准流泪
会离勇敢更近一些

等到泪痕一退
会好过一些

日记留着你的气味
想你就翻开每一页
测验我的心情很伤悲
还是很喜悦

放心的睡
明天醒来后一切OK

&enjoyment.

I am seriously in need of laughter right now. I need to laugh crazily, bordering on hysterically.

RIGHT NOW.

But then it is 10.30pm at night. And the neighbourhood is already quiet. So if I start laughing crazily out of no reason, it will seem like there's a psycho in my house. Oh dear.

And my parents are home already! Tough to laugh without getting a good reprimandation. Oh dear number two.

Dear me dear me, how am I going to get my laughter crave satisfied?

The reason why I am in this weird funny state now is because I havent been laughing well for quite some time already. Usually I laugh enough not to crave laughter. And I kind of miss plopping myself onto the floor and laughing my head off. It's fun, seeing how I love sitting on the floor so much.

Oh well. Since I cant laugh here in front of the computer as it's deemed "will trouble the neighbours" by my parents, and a threat to my family's reputation too, I shall go into the privacy of my room, hide under the blanket and LAUGH.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

&enjoyment.

You know what? I really love WEEKENDS. Cos I have the kind of feeling that I've returned to holidays. Even though it is only two miserable days. ):

But yeah. It's just nice to laze around for a few hours and sleep all you want. XD And watch teevee! Just finished watching SHE's Yi Dong Cheng Bao concert in Hong Kong (DVD). They can really sing and dance! So talented can. Now I know why my cousin is totally gaga over them. They rock can!

I know Zhuwei and Emily read my blog. And Ger too, from time to time. Please tag so as to keep my tagboard alive. Thank you.

&enjoyment.

I shall hence convince myself that time will heal itself.

Anyway, I have finally finally finally gotten my FEILUNHAI XIEZHENJI. Otherwise known as HAI JIAO - LE YUAN (Fei Lun Hai). The pictures inside are really nice! Calvin is so handsome okay. XD And the DVD that comes along with it; what can I say? Fahrenheit never fails to bring a smile to my face every time I watch a show/clip that has them in it. XD

Okay. So I survived the first week of term three. I still havent adjusted back to that 5.45am-wake-up-now routine. Poof. And I have homework that I havent finished. But yeah, term three's not much different from before.

I need more happiness in my life. Or else I might just collapse and die one day. Or become really emo cos I tend to think too much. When I'm alone, my mind just wanders.

So yep. Back to relaxing before going back to homework. XD

&enjoyment.