Everything written here is entirely melody's thoughts and are not used as a weapon to break other people's hearts with words. I just enjoy being able to express my thoughts and feelings. Please do not take any of the words written here as critisizm towards anyone. Thank you, and enjoy reading!

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Okay. Was deeply touched by God today. I think Uncle Daniel's message today was really good and it poked the deepest darkest part of my heart. It's kind of like a void in my spiritual life that I've been trying to fill... With those pretty dumb wishes of wanting to have someone that can take care of me and sorts, like a boyfriend? I'm not boy crazy but yeah, I was like going through a period of my life where I was pretty angsty and all...

Well I just hope that's part of growing up. Cos I dont want to live my teenage years as an angsty and the-world-is-just-against-me girl. I admit I have thought about hating the world, hating myself, cooping myself up and turning all emo. But yeah, I've successfully overcome that phase! YAY.

So right now I want to reaquire that thrist for God, that desire for more of Him. I'm a second-generation Christian (meaning I grew up in a Christian family) so I kind of never really experienced the fire of a person just come to Christ. BUT. I no longer want to be a second-generation Christian! I want to desire for God and experience Him for myself, and not just listen to the wonderful experiences that my elders and leaders have encountered.

I read in a story before that God does not have grandchildren. Meaning that you are not a Christian just because your parents are. Similarly, I do not want to be a Christian just because my parents are. I want to experience, encounter and cling on to God for myself.

I want to draw near to God.
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HIS LOVE

Your light is over me, flooding over me
The night is lifted
Heaven over me, flooding over me
I can't contain it

My cup overflows
My cup overflows

Praise the Lord with all my heart
Praise Him for He has done great things
His banner over me is love, His love
His banner over me is love, His love

You brought the sunshine in
And turned the night to day
You made the shadows flee away
You opened up my eyes
To a new and living way
The dawning of a brand new day
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&enjoyment.